Hari ni rasa cam tergerak plk nk tulis something yg lebih bersifat rohaniah... hati ni terasa cam kosong sgt... seolah-olah ada yg kurang... i am happy now, dgn apa yg dah Allah takdirkan utk ain... tp bila mengenangkan dangkalnya iman, rendahnya amal sbg tanda mensyukuri nikmat yg tak terhingga dari Ilahi... rasa bersalah pn mula menujah-nujah hati, menghalang diri merasai bahagia sejati... mudahnya seorang manusia melupakan kasih Rabb nya... apa lg yg dicari, segalanya dah Allah bagi... tak penah mengharap sebarang balasan, hanya ketaatan hamba Nya menjadi suruhan... tp??? mungkin ini la yg dikatakan mcm pepatah melayu, "susu dibalas tuba"... huhuhu~
berada di tempat ni mmg jadualnya sgt padat... jarang sgt ada masa bersendirian... selalu nya ain akan lebih byk muhasabah diri waktu2 ain berseorangan, tak dak sapa2 yang teman... bukan tak bagus setiap masa ada org dgn kita... at least tak la nk terpikir bukan2 kan... cuma tu la... mcm bila kita ada pakwe... apa rasanya kalo kita tak dak masa nk berdua-dua meluahkan perasaan..? lama2 perasaan tu akn jadi mcm gloomy isn't it? i guess that's what happening to me right now... rasa sgt la tak best nya... hurmmm (sigh~)
sekarang ni masih mencari cebisan2 yg pecah tu utk dicantumkan semula... i dont wish to be success in life without Allah's blessing... it wont make me feel the real happiness that i seek all my lifetime... whatever it is, i have to learn it from now... realiti dunia sebenar mmg la mcm ni... bila sibuk ngn urusan dunia, kita mudah lupa dgn tanggungjawab pada agama... sedangkan semua tu tak bermakna kalo Allah tak redha... Allah yg bg, n Allah blh tarik balik nikmat tu anytime anywhere HE want to... but of course Allah is not me... HE wont do something to hurt us purposely... if we were hurted, that is all because HE love us so much... ya Allah... tetap kan aku di jalan Mu Ya Allah... jgn lalaikan aku dgn semua kemudahan dan kesenangan yg Kau anugerahkan utk ku kini...
tu je la nk tulis ckit bout my empty heart... still struggling to correct everything of my wrongdoing to Him... i know He understand me... but rules still rules... no matter what's the prob is, i have to follow it as an obedient servant... i need Him in my life... so i shudn't do anything against His order... hopefully Allah will always be by my side no matter how big my mistakes to Him... huhuhu~
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