Assalamualaikum...
Well, i'm in Kedah now for Hari Raya Aidiladha... Just arrive home at about 1.45 am... There was no direct bus to Alor Setar, so i had to take a bus to Sg Petani n then mak, abah, cua n ijah went there to pick me up... it's already 12.45 am masa smpai smpai kt Sg Petani tadi... i'm having quite a bad cough starting from yesterday... plus it was very cold in the bus just now, even worse becoz i don't have a sweater with me... huhuhu~
So how bout my life lately..? hurmmm... not so good... again stuck in a friendship problem... new kind of prob this time... never across into my mind that the situation will gonna be that bad just becoz of such a small small small thing... almost a week i'm not talking even a word to that friend... i thought that i might be able to fix up the prob during our ride to Sg Petani... at first, the real plan is they will come to my house first before going back to their own house tomorrow morning... sudden changes to the plan was made without me knowing bout it...! i just knew it yesterday after i asked one of them whether or not they will come to my house... the answer surprised me actually n made my mood turn bad... it's not that i was upset they refused to come to my house, but i was upset becoz nobody tell me bout the changes... i wont know bout it i suppose if i never asked... sgt menyakitkan hati...!
kisah nya bermula hanya kerana ain agak tak berpuas hati dgn kata2 mmbe tu masa kami tgh syok2 makan last week... something bout the food la... i'd been waiting to eat that food for 3 weeks already n suddenly she spoil my eating mood just like that... i tried to be patient at once with her non-passionate expression while eating the food which actually was affecting my appetite indirectly... but when she started to questioned bout how people like to eat the food (i am one of the liker), i suddenly straight away said that she shouldn't say that... she should at least respect others who like to eat it even she is not interested with that food... sesi jwb menjawab tercetus seketika.. kejap ja.. tak lama pn.. but still i lost my whole mood that evening... i just kept quiet n refuse to say anything... usually when that kind of thing happened between me n my other frens, it never turn into something serious... even though they realize that i was mad, but they will just pretend not knowing anything n talk to me like always... of course they will give me some time to cool down, but never more than a day... but this time, my problematic dearie mearie fren also kept quiet as i did... it become worst when she kept staying in the room n rarely came out... actually i was totally okay... it's nonsense to take heart for days just for something like that isn't it.? but she took the matter so seriously... i think both of us are so ego actually to start back the conversation... so bad!
i was thinking to give her a "love" letter... just to let her know what i feel... we had been quite close within the 4 weeks in Teluk Batik, but now i dont think we can go back to the same level of closeness anymore... i love the frenship and everything happen now is distracting me so much... but my patient also had a limit... she was so ego as well as i do... we are not compatible each other... i realize that egoism is not really a good attitude... if she cannot take the first move, why dont i make the move first... right?? as simple as that... but still i cant do it... i tend to treat people the same way they treat me... that's the problem... if a person wanna be hard-headed with me, i'll be more hard-headed than he/she can be... that's why nobody should use harsh way to settle me down... what u give, u get it back and mybe more! that's one of my principle... u treat me nice, i treat u nicer... u hurt me, i'll give u chance... but if i couldn't stand with it anymore, u'll be hurted more than u hurt me... not to revenge, just for them to get a lesson... how would they feel if people do the same annoying things that they did to others... so far that's the only intention of me doing some payback when i was treated not well... i know grudge is not good and Allah dont like it... if possible, i'll avoid that kind of feeling as much as i can... i'm trying to do the same thing this time, facing this prob... the bad and good emotion is fighting inside me right now... i can only ask Allah for his guidance since HE's the only one who understand me... huhuhu~
i have some more to write actually... but i am so sleepy.. mybe becouse of the "ubat batuk" i drink just now... i hope i'll get to find out the solution soon... i dont like to be like this... really hate this kind of prob!! huhuhu~
adios... ilalliqa'
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