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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

someone i'm looking for..

Assalamualaikum...

On the way nk menulis entry ni, tiba2 tersembang kejap ngn atikah sharbani... n dia suggest this one book entitled "pemilik cintaku selepas Allah dan Rasul" hasil nukilan Fatimah Syarha... secara tetiba arah penulisan ain jadi berbeza dgn apa sebenanya yg nak ain karangkan mula2 tadi... tp still mmg ada kaitan ngn apa yg ain nk tulis... don worry... i search bout the book's info n indeed it shud be an interesting one... thnx Ya Ilahi kerana sntiasa memahami apa yg bermain di hatiku... setiap kali aku hmpir kehilangan arah, Kau pasti menghantar utusan utk menunjukkan aku jalan... regardless how bad my ibadah for U, U still always look after me with lots of YOUR love n care... Ya Allah...... Agungnya kasih Mu buat hamba2 Mu...


I am 24 now... kalo sebelum ni ada jgk mmbe2 yg tak da pasangan... this time, in this house, i'm the only one yg kira tak berteman... sorg buah hati depan mata, dua lagi - standard couple zaman skrg la... i dont wanna mention much bout that... did i really care for not having a bf..? perhaps in few seconds... pastu wat bodo ja... i'm insist in looking for the right person to give my heart... andai takdir Allah lewat menemukan ain dgn insan tersebut, ain redha... coz Allah adalah sebaik-baik perancang... so why should i worry so much?

tipu ka ain kalo ain kata ain tak kisah pn sgt pasal menda2 ni..? am i lying to myself?? i dont think so... i just feel that it's not the time yet... ada sesuatu yg ain cari dan masih mencari smpai skrg... walaupun ada masanya rasa mcm seronok tgk org dpt gift, call, msg, etc. dari buah hati masing2... but still, ain sedar yg ain tak nak suma tu dari org yg tak berhak... i dont know what to envy at... coz seriously it means nothing for me since i am clear enough of what i really want for my life... bak kata en Budi, buah kesabaran tu manis sebenarnya... i am willing to wait all my lifetime before HE is willing to give me what i want...

dicintai, disayangi, dikasihi, etc. mmg membahagiakan perasaan... tp andai semua tu dtg sebelum masanya, bukan pada org yg sepatutnya, mungkin ka kebahagiaan tu akn terus kekal..? i refused to think badly bout others yg bercouple mcm dh jadi laki bini... i mean those "syg, anja, baby, abg" words yg sepatutnya hanya digunakan utk insan bergelar suami atau isteri nnti... my question is always, di mana manisnya lagi sebuah perkahwinan kalo semuanya dh diberikan lebih awal... mmg la tak semuanya... the care, the love, the story... almost everything la tu kan... what else to treasure about our partner after marriage since almost suma nya kita dh tau pasal dia...  dan terjadila mcm kebanyakan kes yg ada skrg... bercinta punya la lama, kasih pn teguh tak terkata, aleh2 bila kawin, gocoh sana, gocoh cni... na'uzubillah...

aku mmg tak penah tau apa yg akn berlaku di masa akn dtg... yg aku tau, aku penah berjanji takkan menggadaikan rasa cinta yg aku ada skrg dgn apa juga harga... i do looking for someone whom i dont know where he's hiding now... but i'm not in rush... Allah will show him to me when the time had come... i always believe on that... no matter what people say, it doesnt matter for me... cuma yg aku harap Allah dpt pelihara hati aku dari perkara2 yg akn membawa aku jauh dariNya... wallahua'lam...

p/s: i'm so sleepy right now that i'm not able to touch up much this post... mcm tak berapa ada link ngn tajuk... tp dh tak mmpu nk pikir pa2 skrg ni... bantai ja la... huhuhu~



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I was born on 5 Muharram 1407.. sweet and cute lady~ haha~ just joking... common and moderate... a little servant of Allah.. love art... complicated~~