Monday, September 29, 2014

I'm drowning...

ألسلام عليكم ورحمة ألله و بركاته

It's been a long time tak menjengah ke ruangan Kalaam Min Qalbi.. I miss this bloggie.. Perhaps environment sekarang remind me of who I used to be..

I'm basically quite lost now. Mencari sesuatu untuk mengisi hati yang ketandusan sesuatu.. Padahal hakikatnya kembali pada Allah adalah the only answer untuk mengatasi apa yang aku sedang lalui sekarang.. Something feels not right.. But I'm not sure what is it...

And... Sejak akhir-akhir ni... Rindu pada abah macam membuak-buak.. I can't really express this to anyone.. Tak pasti siapa yang mungkin boleh memahami... Feels like I need to talk to him... And last week.. while I was doing my work in office, suddenly teringat abah and my tears just fall down... 

I'm lacking of support now.. Which I think I really need one..

It feels as if I'm standing on an edge now.. That I can fall down anytime, any moment.. If I lost my conscious.. I'm losing myself... I start doing things that I know not right to be done. I found it hard to control myself... And what I afraid most... Is I might be drown into the underworld which will makes me covered in darkness... I don't want to go there... But my steps keep taking me far from the path that I want to go.

I'm losing myself.. I can feel it... It makes me feel anxious... I'm reminding people so that they won't head to the place that I'm heading to now.. With the hope that.. If I can take them back to the right pathway, I may be somehow dragged with them too together... 

Allah is the only one who can help me now..
And hopefully He's still willing to guide me..
After all the sins that I did to Him...


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I was born on 5 Muharram 1407.. sweet and cute lady~ haha~ just joking... common and moderate... a little servant of Allah.. love art... complicated~~