KaLaAm MiN qALbi

almost drawn...huhuhu~

Assalamualaikum...

Ada satu story yg penting utk ain remark... hari ni ujan mashallah punya la lebat nya tak tau nk kata... tersangkut kat umah sangkar tu lama la jgk... duduk kat tgh2 tasik mcm tu, dgn ujan bagaikan ribut, agak merisaukan la... takut tersangkut situ tak dpt nk naik darat... huhuhu~ jadi bila ujan dah agak2 surut, kami pn cepat2 la nk beredar dari umah sangkar tu... masa dok berjalan atas pelantar sangkar tu, tah cmna papan tu patah n one of my leg tersangkut kat celah2 ruang papan yg patah tu... n my body already fall down... muka ni sempat la mencium air sangkar tu...

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be positive...!

Assalamualaikum...

It's very important to be positive and to look everything from a positive point of view... first n for most, sebelum aku terlupa... my sis, Kak Shah call me this evening... glad to talk to her... n also at the very same time, Ummi Salmah msg gtau dia dpt posting kat Sarawak... both of them are gonna give birth within this year... alhamdulillah... i'm happy for them... moga Allah permudahkan segalanya utk mereka berdua... amiin...tak sabar nk dpt ank sedara sorg lg n also ank sedara angkat (mak dia bg ke tak aku nk jd mak sedara angkat anak dia, aku tak kisah..).. :p

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someone i'm looking for..

Assalamualaikum...

On the way nk menulis entry ni, tiba2 tersembang kejap ngn atikah sharbani... n dia suggest this one book entitled "pemilik cintaku selepas Allah dan Rasul" hasil nukilan Fatimah Syarha... secara tetiba arah penulisan ain jadi berbeza dgn apa sebenanya yg nak ain karangkan mula2 tadi... tp still mmg ada kaitan ngn apa yg ain nk tulis... don worry... i search bout the book's info n indeed it shud be an interesting one... thnx Ya Ilahi kerana sntiasa memahami apa yg bermain di hatiku... setiap kali aku hmpir kehilangan arah, Kau pasti menghantar utusan utk menunjukkan aku jalan... regardless how bad my ibadah for U, U still always look after me with lots of YOUR love n care... Ya Allah...... Agungnya kasih Mu buat hamba2 Mu...

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Apa lagi yg mungkin berubah?

Each time aku on9 dan ternampak sahabat yg sorg tu, hati aku msti terasa something... why should things turn this way? menyesal? utk apa aku nk menyesal? setiap yg Allah takdirkan tu pasti bersebab... dh tu..? i'm not sure either... i hate losing my fren no matter for what reason... ya Allah... tunjukkan la aku apa yg terbaik utk aku lakukan... amiin...

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feeling good... :)

Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah dlm 2 hari ni ain rasa lebih tenang n i dont know why that i felt so in peace... my previous post sound like terrible... but actually its not really that bad... :) mybe bila hari2 yg dilalui lebih bermakna, i felt better... mcm kemarin, dpt borak2 ngn pkcik syawal pasal ikan, i consider that as a knowledge... hari ni plk kira ada la keja utk dibuat menyebabkan kebosanan yg ain selalu alami tu decrease la...

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it's hurt when u hurt people

Assalamualaikum

I felt lil bit down now... Honestly i'm happy to learn something new at least... tp proses penyesuaian tu nmpknya tak berapa mudah. i keep feeling bad day to day. for many reasons... aku yakin aku akn dpt menyesuaikan diri, just the pain that i have to endure is.............. i dont know what to say..

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the ending of 2009

Assalamualaikum..

Hopefully entry ni sempat publish sebelum 12 tgh mlm... huhuhu~ almaklum la ain ni kalo menulis berjam-jam baru siap... inshallah sempat kot... :)

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DeEpSky

Deepsky... the first day i got into the company, i was so blurr... know nothing... tak pasal2 plk terpilih menjadi antara 7 org yg diwajibkan memegang 7 jawatan yg konon2 penting dlm company... masa ni deepsky blom tertubuh lagi... deepsky hanya dikenali sbg company 4... yg lebih mendukacitakan, aku rasa tak best lgsg berada di situ... mana tak nya, muka mereka2 yg terpilih utk memegang 7 jawatan tu (except me of course), berlagak tol nmpknya... tp alhamdulillah aku ni dikurniakan attitude yg jarang sekali nk finalize sesuatu sebelum aku btol2 clear ngn situasi tersebut... w.pn rasa mcm kurang selesa n also feeling like a stranger, aku sabarkan ja la... n cuba ikut rentak budak2 tu... huhuhu~

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anak-anak sedara ku... :)

this is baby a'sim when he was newly bornt

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memories of GEMS TBL 03

Assalamualaikum...

It'd been 2 days already after i left the GEMS program... i feel like having quite a big lost in my life... setiap pertemuan pasti ada perpisahan... cuma tak tau la kenapa perpisahan kali ni terasa teruk plk... ingatan kat mmbe2 especially in deepsky berlegar-legar memenuhi ruang otak... kurang ckit pn parahnya rasa rindu tu sbb ada baby a'sim dgn umairah... kalo tak, tak tau la... huhuhu~

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i got the answer finally.. (cont.....)

Again... Assalamualaikum....

I'm back... lambat ckit sbb menyembang ngn mmbe2 tadi... it's good to share this last few moments with them, flashing back all da memories with our trainers... hehe~ -END- i'm not gonna talk bout this topic further more, coz it's not the thing that i want to talk now in this topic...

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i got the answer finally

Assalamualaikum...

As usual, when my mood still here, it's better for me to write everything straight away without pausing... but to be truth....... huhuhu~ suddenly i feel like going to have my morning tea for a while... i'll be back... :D just for a while...

meniti hari-hari terakhir di Teluk Batik

Assalamualaikum...

Olla, meet again in my lovely-movely blog... long time not writing anything in here even though i always felt dying to write something bout my feel or what's happening in my life journey... unfortunately,just the idea lingering in my head but i cannot push it out... as i said, i cannot write anything if i'm not in da right mood of that... and now here i am, ready to express few things in my heart, which make me breath hardly recently...

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what a tough week..!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

Minggu ni adalah minggu yg mmg la sgt messy kat teluk batik... i mean in this GEMS programme. By the time ain balik dari raya haji baru ni smpai la ke saat ain menaip skrg, mcm2 rasanya nk kena uruskan... alhamdulillah masih diberi kekuatan oleh Allah s.w.t utk menjalankan amanah dan t/jwb ni suma dgn baik lagi la kot setakat ni... huhuhu~ minggu ni kami ada team building selama 2 hari setengah... bermula pada hari isnin baru ni n berakhir pada t.hari hari rabu...

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a frenship which turned into disaster

Assalamualaikum...

Well, i'm in Kedah now for Hari Raya Aidiladha... Just arrive home at about 1.45 am... There was no direct bus to Alor Setar, so i had to take a bus to Sg Petani n then mak, abah, cua n ijah went there to pick me up... it's already 12.45 am masa smpai smpai kt Sg Petani tadi... i'm having quite a bad cough starting from yesterday... plus it was very cold in the bus just now, even worse becoz i don't have a sweater with me... huhuhu~

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Something useful

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Alhamdulillah mlm ni Allah bg kesempatan utk ain merenung beberapa perkara yg memberi sikit pengisian dlm hati... Alhamdulillah jgk atas perasaan gembira yg Allah kurniakan utk ain... HE's THE BEST!! I LOVE HIM!!

Tadi kami ada ceramah agama bersama dgn Mr Steven Bernard sempena mlm jumaat mlm ni... alhamdulillah rasanya ada la jgk input2 yg dpt diambil drpd ceramah tu walaupun kesejukan tahap nk beku duduk kt dlm dewan tu, ditambah dgn bahasa inggeris yg seriously memerlukan fokus yg tinggi utk difahami... i think i managed to get something from it...

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an empty heart

Hari ni rasa cam tergerak plk nk tulis something yg lebih bersifat rohaniah... hati ni terasa cam kosong sgt... seolah-olah ada yg kurang... i am happy now, dgn apa yg dah Allah takdirkan utk ain... tp bila mengenangkan dangkalnya iman, rendahnya amal sbg tanda mensyukuri nikmat yg tak terhingga dari Ilahi... rasa bersalah pn mula menujah-nujah hati, menghalang diri merasai bahagia sejati... mudahnya seorang manusia melupakan kasih Rabb nya... apa lg yg dicari, segalanya dah Allah bagi... tak penah mengharap sebarang balasan, hanya ketaatan hamba Nya menjadi suruhan... tp??? mungkin ini la yg dikatakan mcm pepatah melayu, "susu dibalas tuba"... huhuhu~

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what to say...

assalamualaikum..

Today is the talent day for GEMS TBL 03.. no need to know what's the meaning... just wanna write something in here bout my daily life in this programme... It's morning break now... doesn't feel like to eat, so I just came here in the computer room n check out my luvly column, which is my blog of course... nothing much to remark, just wanna spend this short time doing something... so i decide to update my blog...

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after 3 weeks being in Teluk Batik

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

It's been such a long time i'm not updating anything in here... it's not that i don't want to, but the commitment to all modules n the activities really catch my fingers from writing anything... plus the internet was also got into trouble for almost 1 1/2 week - the cable was stolen they said..

So alhamdulillah there are a lot things i learnt in this GEMS prog... i AM happy to be here.. surely no regrets at all... of course no one will regret to live in a resort for almost 3 months... foods are fully provided and we also get our allowance... but the tasks n burden are quite tough n even some of the participants quit from this prog... as for me, i wont have any prob with all the modules since i have deep interest in business and management all that things... at least i used to feel that this is what i need...

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new place

Assalamualaikum...

After few days tak ngadap intenet, hari ni baru berpeluang utk buat ckit catatan... alhamdulillah ain sekarang ada kat Teluk Batik Resort, Lumut, Perak. I'll be here for bout 2.5 months. So dlm tempoh ni ain akan cuba la update anything kalo masa mengizinkan.. inshallah... tp kali ni sekejap ja leh on9 sbb jap lagi ain ada test... kul 8.30 mlm.. singgah jgk kat blog ni sbb dh rindu n then kot2 la ada sesapa yg tertanya-tanya perkembangan ain.. details will be updated kemudian... c ya.. adios...

penat nyerrr.. huhu~

Assalamualaikum..

Dah beberapa hari tak dpt mengupdate kan blog atas sbb yg dh ain sebutkan in my previous writing... alhamdulillah sorg lagi kawan ain (ummi) dh selamat bergelar isteri org... biar la letih cam tahap apa pn tp mmbe nya pasal aku relakan... hubby dia pn kira cam sporting nya org gak... hehe~ pastu ada sorg lg mmbe pn cam tak lama bakal la kot menurut jejak langkah si ummi tu... actually bukan sorg, ada la 2, 3 org rasanya yg tgh planning tuk mengorak langkah menuju gerbang perkahwinan tak lama lagi... tetiba rasa cam sedikit tergoda plk bila tgk mmbe masing2 (tak la semua) dah ada calon memasing... hehe~ sempat tergoda ckit ja... pastu dh kembali ke alam nyata... pa pn 2 thn lagi... :p

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Cuti Deepavali

Olla..

we meet again in such a short period.. hehe~ merujuk kepada tajuk di atas, ain bukan la nk bercerita tentang perayaan deepavali, tp apa yg akn ain buat masa cuti deepavali nih... :p

I can't wait for tomorrow to see her again... i'm so happy..! minggu baru ni dia baru ja dtg umah ain ats alasan nk p minggu kerjaya kat menara a.setar... dia mai dgn abg n sepupu dia.. we are like families for real.. as if dia mcm dh bukan org asing di rumah ni... thanks Allah for granting me such a nice friend... w.pun berbeza gaya dan pemikiran, tp dihubungkan oleh keserasian yg tah mai dari mana pn tak tau... give n take yg ada antara kami adalah kunci pada persahabatan yg dibina... hehehe~ nk bermadah puisi la plk kat cni... huhu.. sory2... dh melalut ke lain plk...

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akhirnya...

Assalamualaikum... :D

Akhirnya...! setelah beberapa hari "bertungkus-lumus" melakukan renovation, alhamdulillah akhirnya ain berpuas hati dgn rupa blog ain sekarang.. hehe~ u see, ain mmg jenis yg takkan berhenti selagi ain tak dpt mcm yg ain nk... biar la kena bersusah payah memasukkan semula widget2 tu semula pn ain tak kisah... kena bersengkang mata, mengadap coding2 yg ain tak berapa nk phm tu, search sana sini cmna nk atasi prob yg ain face dlm proses nk mencantikkan blog ni... pendek kata apa saja yg ain kena buat pun ain tak kisah... sbb w.pn ain ni nmpk cam selebet, tak kisah sgt, n mcm jenis yg asal ada ja... hahaha~ tp sebenanya kalo ain dh mengadap sesuatu secara serius, ain ni sgt la cerewet org nya...

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me?? like that? hurmmm..

Ada satu perkara yg mengundang tanda tanya yg agak mendalam kat dlm hati ni... pasal pendapat beberapa org budak lelaki kat aku... huhuhu~ kemarin dulu ada la sorg mmbe ni rajin lak dok nyebut2 pasal aku kat sorg lg mmbe lelaki... tnya pendapat mamat tu kat aku.. tah pa2 minah tu.. huhuhu~ tp berterima kasih la jgk sbb aku pn mmg mengharap utk tahu how people look at me... hehehe~ pendapat yg +ve tu cam best gak la... yg -ve plk cam standard ja... i do know that aku ni jenis yg agak laser... kalo dh bersuara utk menegur sesuatu mmg direct to da point ja... n sometime mgkin mengecilkan hati beberapa pihak... mmg aku akui la menda tu... that's why aku jarang nk ckp pa2 kalo aku tak kenan pn... kes tu la... kalo aku dh ckp kang, kot terasa smpai ulu jntg la plk kot... hahaha~ dan mgkin sbb tu jgk aku biasanya dpt mmbe jenis yg rempang ckit... mmbe yg rapat i mean... yg blh bercakap dari hati ke hati... mmbe yg lembut2, ayu2 tak berapa sesuai rapat dgn aku sbb takut tak pasal2 aku terlukakan hati mereka... hehehe~ aku sedar siapa diri ku... huhuhu~

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bestnya hujan..!

Assalamualaikum... :D

It's raining now in my place... mcm best ja tidoq, supa tak mau bangun... sedar tu lama dah, tp dok ok ek ok ek, last sekali smpai ann call baru bangun... hehehe~ apa punya ank dara daa... serius mmg sgt best tido...

ni baru ja abis masak satu jenis lauk... tu pn sbb mak dah pesan semalam... kan senang kalo hari2 mak hbq esko pg masak ni, masak ni... tak da la botak kepala nk pikir menu yg sesuai... last2 jd la mcm minggu ni... sepanjang 5 hari ain tak masak pa2 kecuali hari ni n hari isnin ritu... tu pn tak da org mkn sgt sbb mak bawak balik mknn dari jamuan sekolah dia... mujur hari tu cuma goreng tempe+ubi ja... hehe~ bukan tak kesian kat mak kena masak pas penat2 balik sekolah... tp mmg dh ketandusan idea...

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the conclusion

Kalo sesapa yg ikut blog lama ain dulu, ain penah mention pasal seseorang... kepala otak ni masih tertuju kt hmba Allah tu.. tp tak la secara melampau... i think i made a decision already... mcm biasa... ain mmg akn pilih jln selamat bg perkara2 yg berkaitan dgn hati ni.. hehe~

i'm gonna wait n see... ada dua buah cerpen yg penah ain baca yg sntiasa berlegar-legar kat minda ni... ain tak igt la tajuk cerpen tu.. ain igt watak utama cerita ja... tu pn tak semua... satu cerpen pasal carl duke adam @ kaduk, n another cerpen is about asiah yusro.. jln cerita dua2 cerpen ni mmg agak mengharukan perasaan ain... perasaan yg dipendam lillahi taala... masa penentu segalanya... kalau dh jodoh, berkat doa yg berterusan dan hati yg ikhlas serta niat yg tulus, inshallah akn dpt kesudahan yg terbaik... Allah knows His servant best...

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marriage - part II

Pada pg ain menulis topik "marriage - part I" baru ni, actually hari sebelum tu ain baru bercakap ngn my fren something yg jgk relate ckit2 la bab kawin ni... percintaan between a muslim n a non-muslim... ain dh tgk kwn pada mmbe ain ni yg katanya bercinta ngn an indian guy... mmg cute n cantik la budaknya.. tp menurut kwn beliau ni, dia mmg sgt sosial n advance... ok... kwn ain ni is an indian too... bila dia dpt tau psl her fren coupling with an indian, the first thing she asked her fren is, "how could u both married? when will he convert?" n the girl said, "he wont convert"... so my fren asked her again, "then how? u cannot leave ur religion right"... pompuan tu jwb tak tau... n she said that she'll die if they break up...

i am mentioning this because menda ni mmg ada kaitan ngn marriage... cuma lari ckit dari perbincangan asal yg lebih menyentuh tentang menda yg perlu kita consider when we decide to marry...

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what am i doing??

Ya Allah... tak tau la nk ckp aku ni bodoh ka hapa ka... apasal la aku leh wat tindakan cmni... serius terasa sgt bodoh... saja menyakitkan hati sndiri... why i always did this to myself... what am i thinking actually..? sigh~ aku pn tak phm apa yg aku pikir sebenanya...

each time when i like something but in my thought i dont desrve it, i'll give it up to someone else... kalo dah bekenan tu, just fight to get it la kan... ini tak... sengal p bg brg kesayangan sndiri kat org... pastu dah la rasa sedih plk... siap cover lagi... dah tu kalo ckp aku tgh sedih pn, bukan org nk pecaya... sbb suka sgt tak serius... main2 ja keja nya... apasal susah sgt kdg2 org nk phm yg dlm gurauan aku tu la terselit kebenaran... selalu cmni... why???! tensen nya..!! huhuhu~

ya Allah.. tlg la aku... Kau saja yg mmpu membantu... hurmmmm..

marriage

Actually masa agak singkat utk ain bercerita pasal topik ni... but i'll try my best utk mengeluarkan idea2 yg berkepuk dlm kepala otak ni dlm masa yg very da terhad... kalo tak da gangguan la... huhuhu~

what about marriage n y suddenly topik ni yg menjadi pilihan... pertama mgkin melambangkan diriku yg semakin dewasa w.pn ain susah nk terima hakikat tu... hahaha~ perasan mcm budak2 lg... still suka wat perangai tak senonoh... hehe... what evar la... ntah la.. ain pn tak pasti apa sbb nya tiba2 terpanggil utk berbicara tentang kawin... mybe bcoz of last night conversation with those few people i guess...

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so happy~

Hari ni rasa agak happy sbb selepas almost a month i dont get any news from that "buddy", tadi ain dpt chat meta ngn dia... alhamdulillah... w.pn sekejap ja n conversation kami mcm tergantung, tp dh cukup la for me... huhu~ i guess mybe line dia ada masalah kot...

Pastu alhamdulillah sorg lg kwn ain dh selamat mendirikan rumah tangga... i wish them happiness dunia wal akhirah... so happy to know that... after all the obstacles they had to face, finally they were able to get married... alhamdulillah...

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